Communication is all about involvement.

In our instant messaging hi-tech world it’s too easy to overlook that.

When approaching cultures or subcultures (anyone here come from a family?) that are even a little bit traditional–communication is about lasting involvement.

Rudyard Kipling was definitely onto something when he observed in verse how some Westerners–in particular–come with their grandiose plans to get quick results in the East.

Now it is not good for the Christian’s health to hustle the Aryan brown,

For the Christian riles, and the Aryan smiles and he weareth the Christian down;

And the end of the fight is a tombstone white with the name of the late deceased,

And the epitaph drear: “A Fool lies here who tried to hustle the East.”

The Naulahka

In anything but a very modernized culture (whether it be American, Chinese, Saudi, whatever), it takes time to develop trust. Lots of time. Words are seen as cheap. Actions matter. Lots of actions over lots of time. Character distills trust.

That’s why some of the most effective expats in Asia are “Old Asia hands.” Not all are. Some have 40 years in Asia with one year of Asia experience. Without cultural awareness and intelligence, some manage to relive the same cultural assumptions and blunders over and over like repeatedly watching old shows on Hits TV.

But with a sustained learner’s posture that gets you out of your cultural bubble and involved with diverse people, plus curiosity leading toward awareness, occasional coaching and a lot of persistence, you have a fair shot at surprising your peers and becoming one of those most effective intercultural people.