So, you entered into a new culture, but somehow busy schedules and overwhelm sucked you into not being able to break into the culture and language.

Instead, you’ve gotten eaten up by the expat community bubble.

What can you do now?

First, realize this is what typically happens. Sometimes due to jet lag, or the decisions of others, it’s virtually unavoidable. Don’t give up on your CQ journey. 

But to break out of habits and relational obligations that block bonding with a culture and gaining fluency the heart language, you’ll going to need to implement some changes, and some people in your life won’t like it. 

First, how’s your Drive, your motivation? If you’re frustrated with your lack of progress, that can be a terrific motivator. 

Then, how’s your knowledge about what you need to break out of your current patterns? Who can help you? Or where might you be likely to find them? Or who in your context can coach or mentor you in how to break into new patterns? What do they suggest your think about and consider as you approach a pivot?

Then, motored by CQ Drive, informed by CQ Knowledge, what kinds of new directions do you feel called to aim for? What’s your basic Strategy going to be? 

Let’s unpack that a bit. First, remember that most human commitments are open to renegotiation. Which commitments that hinder you from getting into the culture are real, and which are just in your head? And with the former, how can you open discussions about revising them? How soon can that potentially happen? 

Sometimes you may need to move–jobs or locations. Once you’ve gotten into a region, figured out how to keep body and soul together there, you’ll likely find that with a move you have much greater bandwidth than when you first landed. Dare to start planning a move. In your new community, you can start with a much cleaner slate, new relational habits, a new–but genuine–identity. 

Since time immemorial humans have been helped by rites of passage. Some of the best advice out there says, you will do well to create an event, a party, that peaks with you announcing that you’re making a pivot. You’re going to live and work differently, getting embedded in the culture, probably adopting a local name, pursuing language fluency seriously. Let everyone know, and be ready to answer questions, but be firm. 

Arrange your rebirth in the culture. Reset and enjoy the journey!